Wednesday, September 9, 2026

The Sweep, Week 2: Football-Like Protoplasm


There are some great games in the Big Ten this weekend! Unfortunately they all involve the other thirteen teams in the conference! 

Meanwhile, we at least get some slightly more compelling matchups than we got in Week 1. Also Nebraska is playing.

Duke at Illinois (2:30 Central, FS1): I keep forgetting Duke has a football team too. They beat Tulane last week, which I can never remember if that's good or not. Actually, I have that problem with the entire ACC. I'm not even that sure about Real Miami, and they played for the national championship last season. About the only thing I know about ACC football is that the Nebraskafication of Florida State is well under way.

Anyway, Illinois looked pretty good against UAB last week, as it should have. I like that now the Illini can just drop their Dollar General-sized video board on another team if things get out of hand, too. Illinois 27, Duke 20.

Mississippi State at Minnesota (2:30 Central, CBS/Paramount+): As I said in my season preview, I'm impressed that an SEC school scheduled a challenging out-of-conference game (a) at all, and (b) on the road. That said school is Mississippi State is ...

(Okay, there are a couple guys I know who read this who should just skip ahead to the next game, because I like y'all way too much to want you to read what I'm about to write.)

... not surprising, since the Bulldogs are the Purdue of the SEC. 100% chance that PJ Fleck mentions "beating an SEC team" in his annual review, which will be unnecessary since Minny is perfectly happy with him already. Minnesota 24, Mississippi State 14.

Bowling Green at Nebraska (6 pm Central, FS1): The Huskers once again this week bring an Ohio MAC school to Lincoln for target practice. Ohio U proved feisty, no matter what the final score appeared to indicate. 

For its part, Bowling Green lost to something called "Tarleton State" last week. If you lose to a school that sounds like something Yosemite Sam would shout at Bugs Bunny, I can't take you seriously. I can't Nebraska seriously yet either. Nebraska 55, BGSU 10.

Know Your Non-Conference Tomato Can: Bowling Green State University



Locked in a death match with its bitter rival Toledo for the title of Best Public University in Northwestern Ohio, Bowling Green enrolls over 20,000 students. BGSU has a long history and helped pioneer the academic study of pop culture, meaning that it's at least partially responsible for the many highbrow books about The Simpsons. It is also one of only two universities with an airport on campus, in case that matters to you.

In addition to the usual phalanx of state legislators and dudes who might have played in a couple NFL games, BGSU's most famous alumni are Tim Conway and Ric Ocasek. There are probably others, but this column's demographics already skew old enough. 

Western Illinois at Wisconsin (6:15 pm Central, BTN): A lot people don't realize this but Western Illinois has already beaten Northwestern this year.

No, not that one. The one in Iowa. You know, the NAIA school in Orange City.

The Leathernecks have also gotten pounded flat by Illinois State, so don't go thinking this program has turned the corner. That means that WIU needs a road game against an extremely POed Wisconsin team about as much as it needs a soup fork. Wisconsin 48, WIU 12.

Iowa State at Iowa (6:30 pm Central, NBC/Peacock): This game is going to be a severe reality check for one of these two teams and its fans. Both teams flowed to easy wins over clearly outmatched opponents in Week 1. Iowa beat Northern Illinois -- a team that has given it trouble in the past -- 40-0. Lots of praise has been given to the offense, which looked like an actual functional unit that could impose its will. Tony Diaz in particular has gotten lots of love for being awesome, mostly because he is, but Kamari Moulton led all Big Ten rushers last week with 188 yards. And the defense absolutely smothered the Huskies.

All that is for naught if NIU is secretly dreadful, which is a thing we just don't know yet, because Week 1.

Iowa State, for its part, gave Jimmy Rogers a win in his opening game by beating perpetual Ohio Valley Conference also-ran Southeast Missouri State.38-10. By strange coincidence, my oldest daughter happens to work at SEMO.


Just about everyone is down on the Clones this year, since almost the entire team is in State College, Pennsylvania now. So conventional wisdom is that (Iowa + competent offense) / (Iowa State - Matt Campbell - all the good players from last season) = Hawkeye blowout.

I'm not that confident, but I think the Hawkeyes win and avenge Southeast Missouri State, which will please my daughter, assuming she is actually aware that SEMO played Iowa State last week (she isn't). Iowa 34, Iowa State 17.

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The Sweep, Week 2: Football-Like Protoplasm

There are some great games in the Big Ten this weekend! Unfortunately they all involve the other thirteen teams in the conference!  Meanwhil...