The Sweep, Week 8: Badgerdammerung

It's been a week for yours truly, so if you're hoping for a clever introduction, there isn't one. I put it all into the picks. Which means they're probably all wrong, but I digress.

Penn State at Iowa (6 pm, Peacock): Appropriate that, like an NBC sitcom from the early 2000s that only six people remember, this game is only available on streaming. As sure as I'm sitting here, I have no idea how to pick this game. James Franklin is gone and Drew Allar is out for the season and I'm sure the Nittany Lions are pissed off but they also lost to UCLA which doesn't seem so bad but they also also lost to Northwestern and that is pretty sad for a team that was ranked at any point in 2025. Meanwhile we're all waiting for the Gronowski we thought we were getting to actually show up but with every game he seems more like Jim McMahon during his stint on the Vikings. Penn State is theoretically better than it looked over the past ... okay, we're enough weeks into the season that I can say they were never good, just hyped and only an idiot believes a poll before October 1. Then again, UCLA got a lot better after it fired DeShaun Foster, so ... wait, they lost their first game under Tim Skipper. To Northwestern. So all we're missing is the inevitable hiring of Pat Fitzgerald in Happy Valley and a crossover with Mad About You for Green Week. Hawks, ugly. Iowa 17, Penn State 13.

No. 25 Nebraska at Minnesota (Friday, 7 pm, Fox): College football on a Friday night is an abomination. Matt Rhule has not had a great week, fighting off rumors of Penn State, but at least they distracted from the not-dominant performance last week against Michigan State. And PJ Fleck is still very much PJ Fleck, meaning he's getting a gift-wrapped dot-com bubble of an opponent at home on a national stage, and he's not going to be able to do anything with it. Nebraska 38, Minnesota 20.

No. 1 Ohio State at Wisconsin (2:30 pm, CBS/Paramount+): 

 (I got a weakness for the classics.) Ohio State 66, Wisconsin i.

This week brings us 2 bonus games, since Nebraska and Minnesota are playing each other and Illinois has the week off:

Washington at Michigan (11 am, Fox): I mean, one of these teams has to be good, right? Or at least better than the other team? Go Blue. I guess. Michigan 27, Washington 22.

Temple at Charlotte (1:30 pm, ESPN+): This game is of no particular interest. I am only including it because it's the cheapest ticket on StubHub this weekend ($1.20, less than a pack of Fruit Stripe gum) and because I thought of a clever way to express my belief that Temple will beat the sad-sack Charlotte 49ers. Owls 41, Bowels 10.

(Note: the image leading off this column is AI-generated. I don't care, so save your electrons.)