College football is such a cruel sport for the spectators. It's the shortest season with only one game per week for your favorite team. I'm not suggesting they should play more frequently, or that the season should be longer. I'm just pointing out that loving college football is like being deeply committed to always owning a hamster: you'd better get used to losing something you had just learned to love.
There are no more than three games left for each of the teams under The Sweep's purview. This includes the season-ending rivalry weekend that, for our teams, will mostly be an anticlimax. And then ... well, for four of them, there will be a bowl game, but Wisconsin will almost certainly be spending the holidays in Madison. (Does a Wisconsin team that can only play the spoiler scare you? Particularly since Luke Fickell already knows he's coming back next year and thus has nothing to lose? It should.) Iowa has a slim, theoretical shot at the playoffs, but only if it wins out and there is unbelievable carnage amongst the teams currently ahead of it in the rankings. In other words, enjoy Tampa. Again. Maybe you should have bought that timeshare.
Maryland at Illinois (2:30 pm, FS1): This is a sneakily good game. Maryland has perfected the art of the October fade but retains some of its Septemberness well into November. Illinois is a very good football team that never quite manages to get a handle on its tendency to shoot itself in the foot. The weather in Champaign will also have the air of September about it on Saturday, which just raises a little more doubt about which Terrapins will show up. Regardless, I expect Illinois to win this game fairly easily. Illinois 34, Maryland 20.
No. 21 Iowa at No. 17 USC (2:30 pm, BTN): SoCal has become a place of epically bad juju for the Hawkeyes, at least in games of significance. I can point to some pretty good Holiday Bowls and the incredible takedown of Texas in the 1984 Freedom Bowl, but when you're digging back forty years for counterexamples, you've lost the point. There's just something about Los Angeles that sucks all the know-how and all of the will to win out of the Hawks. I'd love to pick otherwise in this game, but I'm an evidence guy, and the evidence suggests another disappointment. USC 30, Iowa 13.
Wisconsin at No. 2 Indiana (11 am, BTN): Wisconsin still has a shot at bowl eligibility. All it has to do is win out, and hahahahaha blah blah something something she'd be your uncle. Indiana 56, Wisconsin 7.
Minnesota at No. 8 Oregon (Friday, 8 pm, Fox): On the other hand, it's hilarious when stuff like this happens to P.J. Fleck, the Dave Doeren of the Big Ten. Oregon 48, Minnesota 17.
Bonus Coverage: North Dakota at Murray State: Why this game? Because Murray State is the most woebegone FCS program this side of Indiana State. It's really a shame since they have a fairly awesome stadium and a very nice campus overall. Murray itself is a quaint little Southern college town, too. I'm not saying "go spend a vacation there," but there are worse places I can imagine spending a weekend in mid-November, like Grand Forks, North Dakota (where I have lived). North Dakota 42, Murray State 10.
Photo credit: “Roborovski Hamster” by cdrussorusso, CC BY 2.0
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