I had a long-standing practice, when I wore a younger man's clothes, of not watching my Hawkeyes if they were losing or if I thought they might lose. I usually switched it over to PBS and watched The Frugal Gourmet or Bob Ross. Thus my memories of great Iowa teams of the 1980s are interspersed with "happy little trees."
Roku has a channel that streams Bob Ross 24/7. Why do I mention that this week? No reason. (looks away and whistles)
No. 21 USC at No. 23 Illinois (11 am, FOX): I biffed hard on the Illini last week. I mean, I picked them to lose, but I also predicted they would actually show up against Indiana. The record indicates that they did not, in fact, show up at all. I am firmly of the opinion that Indiana is now A Very, Very Good Football Team and the boosters had better not have redirected all their money to NIL because they are going to have to make Curt Cignetti a rich(er) man after this season. The SEC will come calling.
But I digress. Illinois isn't as bad as it looked last week -- how could it be, since Western Illinois couldn't have done much worse? -- so I foolishly predict that it will actually show up against a USC team that might, finally, maybe?, be looking like the sort of team the school hired Lincoln Riley to engineer. At any rate, at least Illinois will be appearing in a watchable early game this week, but if they make me eat my words again I might just pick Illinois to lose out. Fool me once, etc. Illinois 33, USC 28.
Rutgers at Minnesota (11 am, BTN): Rutgers had more than a puncher's chance against Iowa last week but couldn't account for the sudden appearance of a competent Hawkeyes offense. (It's okay, I wasn't expecting it either.) The Scarlet Knights are better than they were last season but it won't show in the record, because so is the rest of the conference.
Minnesota isn't any better than it was last season and might even be a tick worse, as its last game at Cal conclusively proved. I will admit I picked the Gilded Rodents to lose to the Gilded Ursines, but I expected it to be a closer game than it was because I thought those two teams were on par with each other. Well, they weren't, but I see Rutgers and Minny as very much on the same level. As always, ties favor the home team, though Rutgers has an offense and the Flecktones don't. Which is why I think Rutgers gets the road win. Jersey Vice 27, Minnesota Nice 26.
No. 11 Indiana at Iowa (2:30 pm, Peacock): Nope. Indiana 48, Iowa 10.
And this week's bonus games, since Nebraska and Wisconsin have Saturday off:
UCLA at Northwestern (2:30 pm, BTN): Frankly, if either team wins this game, it'll be a miracle. UCLA 24, Northwestern 17.
Sioux Falls at Minnesota State (2 pm, NSIC Network): I couldn't find another compelling enough game on the schedule involving a Midwest-adjacent FBS team, so I dipped down to FCS. Couldn't find one there either (in other words, UNI and Drake are both off, and I have better things to do than pick Eastern Illinois vs, Western Illinois) so here we are in Division II with a nice crunch matchup of 3-1 teams that have both only lost to Minnesota-Duluth. Minnesota State is my undergrad alma mater. The University of Sioux Falls (please, Augustana is the university of Sioux Falls) is an up-and-coming former NAIA school best known as where Alabama coach Kalen DeBoer played football. Since they have a common opponent, since Minnesota State played UMD closer than USF, and since I went there, I'll go with the Mavericks. (NOTE: I did not attend a single football game at Minnesota State.) Minnesota State 34, USF 23.
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